Verse Mapping Luke 24:38

Luke 24:38 is the memory verse for this weeks bible study. This is actually the first time I tried the verse mapping option and I do believe I will be doing this again as a great way to understand God's purpose in my life and the understand the scriptures better as well.

I hope you can read the picture above but if you can't I have broken down the page below.

I wanted to put the scripture in its context and so I looked it up. It is the story in Luke of when Jesus presents Himself to the disciples after His resurrection. Next I made it personal to me as if Jesus Himself was asking me the question. 

I circled the words that jumped out at me and I defined them. 

Last, I rewrote the verse to make it personalized to me and with the definitions I found for the words. Since it is a question I do feel as if I should answer it. 

Answer: Like Gideon in the book of Judges..... Who am I to go? Am I not the least? I know God can do amazing things and I know that He can use me, but at the same time the feeling of failure keeps me at bay. I mean I can't even clean my house right! lol I'm horrible at being suzy homemaker and I rather sit around and think about how I would like things to go than actually doing them. It's amazing how I feel that if I do clean it won't be good enough but then if I don't I feel as if everyone looks at me in disappointment. I do live in the South so shouldn't I know how to work two jobs, keep up the house, raise my son, and still look like the southern belle everyone expects me to be?? 

I most certainly felt like Gideon growing up, my immediate family was the least and I was the least of the least. I'm a single mother who was never married. Even though I try not too, I cuss. I'm not your typical Southern Baptist. (even though I was raised to be) I'm actually quite a liberal with a traditional mindset. (yea, it even blows my mind to think that) I feel God calling me and I have for a long time. 

Jeremiah 20:9

But if I say, “I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

Indeed, like Jeremiah, I cannot keep running. But I'm afraid to ask what God wants of me. I keep hearing, "What if it isn't what I want to do". My selfishness consumes me. So I make excuses of, "But what if it takes me from my son, how will I provide?" 

What about you? How many of these doubts have lured you into the shadows? 

I’m not good enough. 

I’m such a failure. 

I’m always disappointing someone. 

God can’t use me.

 I don’t have anything special to offer.

 I worry too much.

 I can’t balance my life. 

I can’t follow God consistently.

 I’ll never change. 

How often do you agree with these whispers of doubt and find yourself living in discouragement and defeat? Have you felt paralyzed by uncertainty and allowed it to keep you from walking forward with God in faith?

Swope, Renee (2011-08-01). A Confident Heart, Learning to Live in the Power of God's Promises (p. 92). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

So, After all this the only answer I want to really want to provide is prayer. After all when I don't know how quite to answer a question, He is where I turn. 

Lord, I am weak, selfish, and undeserving of such a powerful, unconditional love. It makes me cry to know that you know all my failures and all my shame, yet love me completely. I don't know what you have in store for me, and that frightens me. Please use me how you see fit and give me your grace, and understanding so that I may not be frightened anymore. Use my doubt and failures for the good of You. 

In Jesus' name, Amen.